Sunday

I need things to be slow. I need to contemplate. I need to read and feel sunshine and smell the air. I need to be able to get up, put my pants on and walk out into the day.

I went back to school to get a better job. What I found was my own personal hell, encircling me with severe anxiety and questions about my self-worth. I don't know if this will even lead to a better job. I am told time and again that I need to take this for what it's worth- an exceptional experience. I don't deem it exceptional. I think it's hard- too hard for me. A year and a half is a long time to be unhappy. I can't give up. There has to be another option. The next two months is going to kill me.

This was supposed to be fun.